


What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

by Effyeahrebelcaptain



Series: Jyn and Cassian's Infinite Playlist [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Rogue One Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 11:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9321605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Effyeahrebelcaptain/pseuds/Effyeahrebelcaptain
Summary: Cassian and Jyn finally talk about feelings, and he tells her a little about his past.Song prompt: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve by The Head and the Heart (Cassian Andor's Spotify playlist)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWJ1PNC_S1k





	

# Cassian

>   
>  Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight  
>  When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night  
>  Welcoming in the New Year  
>  New Year's eve
> 
> Maybe I'm crazy to suppose  
>  I'd ever be the one you chose  
>  Out of a thousand invitations  
>  You received  
> 

Hoth is a cold, desolate, miserable hellscape of a planet. Cassian can’t stand the cold – it seeps into his bones and makes it so he can never get warm. It also makes his leg ache (even though he’s been told he’s 100% since Scarif), giving him a slight limp as he roams the ice corridors of the base.

He knows what, (well, who) he’s looking for, but he’s also trying to come up with a plausible way to avoid it. (Her.) After the elevator, then the beach…they’d escaped by the skin of their teeth thanks to Bodhi, only to wind up in the med bays at Yavin days before the evacuation. Then there had been rounds of bacta treatments, forced rest, debriefs, tasks to get Echo Base up and running. She’d been there of course, watching over him and Bodhi, but they hadn’t really had any time to themselves. Afterwards, they’d both been swept up in the rhythm of life on the base. (Supposedly.) If he’d could place a bet, he’d say she was trying to avoid him too.

Because there was this… _thing_ … between them, and it scared him senseless. If he was honest with himself, it started the second he couldn’t pull the trigger on Eadu. He thought they were out of time in the elevator, on the beach. That they would never have the chance to see what the _thing_ could have been. But Bodhi had saved them and now they’re both here and alive and he doesn’t know what to say or do with all of the feelings laying heavy in his chest.

Cassian figures if he’s twisted about this then that she must be too. Or, maybe not. Maybe she doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe it was all just desperation as they waited to be vaporized. Kissing someone as you’re headed to your death, after all, can’t be considered a declaration of eternal love. May it was just the physical manifestation of the desire not to die alone.

It’s not a good time to get involved with anyone, anyway. He’s an intelligence office in the middle of a war and she’s…well, she joined up, didn’t she? ( _Welcome home_ , he’d told her once upon a time.) She and Bodhi had joined up, and someone had managed to help him to save one of K2’s backups before they left Yavin. They could almost be a team. (Still had to find a body for K2, though. Keeping him inside Cassian’s datapad was getting mighty irritating for everyone involved.)

As if on queue his datapad chimes, just as he rounds a corner and smashes directly into someone coming the opposite direction.

“Blast!” he yells, slipping back and managing to fall right on his back. “Stars!” a feminine voice exclaims at the same time, followed by an accompanying thud.

When he gets his breath back and manages to sit up, he’s surprised to see the one person he’d been trying (but not trying) to find, Jyn Erso. _Kriff_ , he thinks to himself, forcing a smile. “Jyn. Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” she mutters, pushing herself up up to sitting. “You should really watch where you’re going. Could injure your back again, and then where would we be?” 

“We?” It slips out before he can stop it, and he sees something flash in her eyes.

“The Rebellion?” she says quickly. His stomach drops.

“Oh, right.” _Nice recovery, Andor_. They’re still sitting in the corridor, definitely blocking the way if anyone were to pass by. It’s unusually quiet and he realizes they’re alone for the first time in what seems like forever. The growing silence is broken by the datapad chiming again.

“Cassian,” K2 calls. “Cassian, are you there?”

Cassian shrugs at Jyn, grateful for the interruption. “Yeah, K, what’s going on?”

“Per our previous conversation, you wanted me to notify you of the upcoming annual turn on Fest. You have half an hour.”

“Right. Thanks, K2.” He blows on his fingers to warm them, shoves the datapad back into a pocket in his jacket, then pulls his glove back on. Jyn is still sitting on the ice, glowering at him. _Where the hell is everyone?_ he thinks. Shouldn’t there be more people in the corridors, this time of day? Then he remembers it’s almost the middle of what passes of night on this Force-forsaken chunk of ice. She’s still staring.

“You’re like to freeze in place if you stay like that,” he offers.

“What was that about?” she replies, looking pointedly at the pocket with his datapad.

“Nothing,” he says quickly, and decides it’s time to light out of there. If he can’t even talk to her about feelings, he’s sure as hell not going to talk to her about the past. He tries to get his feet under him and grab a hold on the wall, but there’s no graceful way to do it and she’s still staring at him with those fathomless green eyes. Distracted, he slips halfway to his feet and falls again. Gives it another try and thuds back to the ground. Cassian’s pretty sure he hears her snort. _Great_ , he thinks. He decides that it’s probably worth it just to lay on the freezing ground and play dead- maybe she’ll just leave.

“Here.” A small hand appears in his view. “I’ll help you up before you break something.”

Cautiously, he takes her hand and she pulls him up. He’s looking down at her now and thinks she’s still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, even bundled into an enormous coat with a hood he can barely see her face inside at this angle.

“…chains for your boots, Shara told me about it. Keeps you off your rear, unless someone comes barreling around a corner,” she’s saying, and he realizes he wasn’t even paying attention.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll look into it,” he replies. “Well…thanks for the hand. I gotta get going.”

“The thing about Fest?” She tilts her head back to see him better through the fur on her hood and he sees the faint line of the scar that traces the left side of her face to her lips. Lips that he’s been thinking about during horribly inopportune moments, feeling them pressed to his and sand under his knees and-

“It’s nothing. I should really get back to quarters,” he says hurriedly, turning to go before that line of thinking can go any further. “Nice to see you, Jyn.” He turns abruptly and heads down the corridor before realizing that quarters is back the other way. Her way.

He turns around and she’s standing in the middle of the hall, arms crossed across her chest. _Blastblastblastblastblast_.

“So, that’s how it’s going to be, then?” She snaps. “You’re just going to ignore me forever?” Cassian can see the hurt all over her face and underneath that, fear. He remembers that everyone in her life has abandoned her and the way he’s been acting, well…it doesn’t look good. ( _Hasn’t she been avoiding him too, though? Had he read the whole thing wrong?_ ) He makes an uncharacteristically snap decision.

“Come on,” he says, figuring now is as good a time as ever to get this over with, but he’s not doing in the hallways where the entire base can hear and it’s so _kriffing cold_. He waits for her to move before pushing past, leading her down into the base towards his room. Jyn stays mercifully silent, and he tries to gather his thoughts. At his door he punches in a code and slides in. Jyn follows.

It’s not much, but Captains at least get their own space with a bunk, table, a couple of chairs and a ‘fresher. Jyn, he knows, is in the dorms with the rest of the lower-ranking officers. He’s thought about offering to share his space with her, especially since he knows she’s so uncomfortable with the notoriety of being in Rogue One and the constant attention, but he never went through with it. _Too scared_ , a tiny voice says in his head. He ignores it.

But, she’s here now and she’s thrown her coat on the bed and managed to grab his bottle of Corellian gin and his one glass. She’s pouring a healthy dram and leaning back in his chair, throwing her boots up on his table like she owns the joint. “So,” she says, after taking a long swig without blinking.

“So,” he replies, pulling the other chair out and sitting across from her. Even though the room has a tiny heating unit, he refuses to lose his coat. _A little like armor?_ he thinks to himself, rubbing his sore leg absently. The datapad chimes. “Fifteen minutes, Captain,” K2 intones, and as Cassian pulls out the datapad he sees K2 has started a countdown. He tosses the pad to the table and gestures to Jyn. She takes another healthy swig before sliding the glass over.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” she says, looking down at her hands.

“Not on purpose,” Cassian replies, but her head snaps up and she’s staring at him with those incredible eyes. He sighs. “Only a little.” Finishes what’s in the glass and refills it.

“We almost died, Cassian.” She says it so quietly that he almost misses it. “We almost died, and then you weren’t there. After. Was… _it_ … just the mission?”

Before he can stop himself he’s remembering the elevator, and _the kiss_ that was so full of almost and the beach as they clung together and watched the green light come over the horizon, except he wasn’t watching it he was burying his face in her neck and thanking the stars that at least he had this tiny, angry, brave, amazing woman in his arms and wished they had more time. The nightmares, after, and all the nights he wished she was there because she would understand, and every time he saw her it felt like his heart was pulling out of his chest to get to her because she feels like home.

The numbers tick down. Ten minutes. “No.” he says thickly. “It wasn’t just the mission.” He takes another drink and slides it back to her. From under his bangs he sees a brightness come to her eyes, and maybe a flush to her cheeks? She tilts the glass back and empties it. To cover, he figures. She refills it and shoves it back his way. He reaches out and catches her hand, surprising her.

“You were never just a mission, Jyn.” Her hand is small and _so warm_ in his ( _even on this ice bucket, how?_ ), but calloused from blasters and truncheons and a hard life he still hardly knows anything about. Jyn tenses, like she’s going to pull away, and it takes a heartbeat before she relaxes and twines her fingers in his. Cassian’s sure his own heart almost stops.

There’s silence then, as they sit with their hands entwined across the table but, strangely enough, it’s not uncomfortable. It’s just… _right_.

“What’s with the countdown?” Jyn asks, breaking his reverie. The numbers are ticking down under five minutes.

“Oh, that.” Cassian steels himself. “Back…back on Fest, we always celebrated the turning of the new year. It was a big deal in the community, a day of celebration. Everyone gathered together to count down the end. The Imperials hit the festival when I was six. My entire family was killed.” The last part comes out as a rush. He’s never told a living person that. (K2 doesn’t count, obviously.)

Jyn is silent, but squeezes his hand. “I try to remember, just a little,” he explains. “My mother… it was her favorite time. It’s really all I remember, now.”

She nods, and pulls the crystal from under her shirt with the hand that’s free of his. “Kyber,” she says, watching it twirl slowly in the dim blue light of the room. “It was my mother’s. She believed in the Force. So I try to as well. We have to carry them, some way.” Jyn tucks it away and looks at the pad. “Three minutes. What do you do at zero?”

“Usually, I drink,” he admits. “Then go on with my life. But…” He hesitates. If there was going to be a time it’s now, but he’s temporarily frozen, and it’s not from the blasted ice cave they’re sitting in.

“But what?” she asks, swinging her feet down and bringing her other hand up to cover his, sandwiching it in her warmth.

Cassian takes a deep breath and steels himself before continuing. “There was always this tradition? Superstition? That the adults always believed.”

“Mm?” she cocks her head, absently running her thumb over his hand. It’s more than a little distracting. “What is it?” she prompts after a minute, and he shakes his head to clear it.

“On New Year’s Eve, kiss the one you want to keep kissing,” he blurts. “It’s an old saying. At the turn of the year you kiss the one you want to be with for love and luck in the next year.” _Or forever_ , the little voice in his head suggests, and he quickly imagines bludgeoning it to death with a pipe.

Jyn’s fingers on his hands still, and his heart rate goes through the roof. He’s pretty sure she can feel his pulse thundering in his wrists, and stars, he’s really wrenched it this time. She won’t look at him. _Abort mission!_ he screams at himself.

“Forget I said anything, it’s all nonsense anyway,” Cassian tries to recover and pull his hand away. Suddenly, her fingers lock around his hand in a surprisingly vise-like grip. He looks up, startled, and Jyn’s staring at him with an intensity he hasn’t seen from her since before Scarif.

“I don’t want it said that Jyn Erso doesn’t respect traditions,” she says, with a twitch at the corner of her lips. Then, like it’s almost happening in slow motion, Cassian realizes several things. First, the countdown on the datapad is quickly approaching zero. Second, Jyn’s released his hand and shoved her chair back, bracing herself on the table and leaning across until she’s _in his face_ , and he can feel the swish of her hair against the sides of it as she gently touches her forehead to his own.

“Happy new year, Cassian Andor,” she breaths, and as the datapad chimes she presses her lips to his.

**Author's Note:**

> So...it's been about 10/12 years since I last wrote anything so if this is terrible, I truly do apologize!! I've also been out of the SW universe for a while, so I'm sure this is horridly inaccurate. (I mean, yeah. I took liberties to make this work. Sorry, not sorry?)
> 
> Rogue One sort of broke me, and after I listened to Jyn and Cassian's playlists on Spotify this plot bunny wedged its way into my brain and I just couldn't get it out.
> 
> Anywho, I hope to keep up with this if people don't think it's garbage!


End file.
